An Oort Story [Cont. 12-18-2017]

Day 1.

The Great Oortfather has summoned me today. I have been chosen.

As I approach the Greatone’s throne, I eagerly gaze upon what must be my reward. Balanced gracefully in midair upon two masterfully crafted pedestals, rests an artifact on each of no doubt immeasurable power. Tempting fate I quickly observe they are an oddly carved cube and a rod. What wondrous powers do these relics hold!?

With a thunderous boom cracking like thunder off the walls of the room, the Great Oortfather draws my waning attention back to him with a start. “Oortson” he beings, “This day is long overdue. Much like you, hundreds of your fellow Oorts have stood where you now stand, being granted two gifts, a choice, and my blessing. This day, you instead are being offered these broken trinkets, an ultimatum, and cast out, hence forth being known as: “The Clumsy One”. Now go get a job.” And with that, he snatched up the trinkets and threw me into a portal leading to this…place. Where is this place exactly?

An unfamiliar sun shown brightly through the tree tops. Alien smells and aromas from the planet I now stood upon rushed into my nose holes from a steady wind. Not far off the leaves of a bush wrestled with the wind,laying bear its fruit snuggled safely within. My stomach grumbled loudly. Suddenly remembering my decision to forgo taking a morning meal and instead preparing my acceptance speech seemed like a foolish thing to do. But only just. Eager to quench my hunger, I approached the bush and began helping myself to its readily available fruit. Only mere bites later I am again startled by the shocking discovery that I am not alone.

Rising up from behind the fruit bush appears two massive bulging horns followed by the head of the most oddly looking creature I have ever seen. (Having never been able to afford a mirror, I stand by this statement.) In what could only be described as my most intelligent thought ever, I hurriedly threw both a handful of fruit and my odd cube thing at its head. In this moment, I came to two conclusions. One, I was still hungry. Two, the weird creature thing looked tasty. To my surprise, what happened next caused both the creature and I to be still in complete shock. As the berries pelted against the creatures horns, they broken and bright dark red juice flowed down onto its shiny yellow coat to make it appear as if it recently been in a fight and won. Next, the cube thingy hit squarely in between its horns solidly locking it in place and it began to shimmer faintly if but only briefly. For the next few seconds neither one of us moved until the cube began to flicker and then eventually die out. Slowly the horned creature thing moved its eyes upwards to attempt to view what was lodged above. Then it tried to move its head. When it still could not see it began to shake wildly in an effort to gain sight of this weird obtrusion. Almost without pause, the cube rattled, chimed, and began to give off a faint glow again. Slowly, the creature looked down at me and I swear…it grinned.

Some time later…

Night is falling and I am now stuck in a tree. You might be asking yourself, “That is a rather odd place to be” and you wouldn’t be wrong. How, exactly, you might be wondering, did I end up in a tree of all places? Well, what an excellent question…

Shortly after my encounter with Brad, the long horned creature of death (His full name is Braaaaadly, the long horned creature of death, and my future dinner), I found myself alone, still hungry, and now with out my cube. Almost without delay, Brad had shuffled off bounding from rock to rock to disappear into a much healthier (and now glowing) looking yellowish bush full of the red succulent looking fruit. Now alone, I began to contemplate my next great plan. Thankfully my superior knowledge of basic woodland survival came to the rescue. Or it would have if I actually had any. Instead, I began to roam slowly and carefully around the immediate area gathering what berries I could find and collecting loose bits of rock and stone from a nearby rock outcropping. Slowly as I preambled around content on gathering what useless items I could find my mind began to drift and I found myself dwelling on my predicament and how unfair I felt my sudden and harsh banishment felt. Caught up in the raw emotion of it all, I snapped back to my senses as I found myself slamming my horribly crafted rod into a tree repeatedly. Just as I realized what I was doing, a piece of the tree broke and fell onto the ground. I picked up this chunk of red wood laced with age marks hashed into its innards. Almost without realizing it I had formed an idea of how I would turn Braaaaadly into dinner…

I couldn’t just eat him raw, I thought to myself. Could I? “BRAAAADLY” I shouted, “Can I eat you raw!?”. To my complete shock he replied: “NAAAAAA”. No, I would need to cook him first! And to do that, I would require a fire. Well that seemed easy enough, gather more wood and then light it. Fire. Right. How the heck was I going to conquer that technological hurdle with a crappy rod, berries, and a few stones? Hmmm, I’d have to contemplate that idea further, for now, I had a way of gathering wood at least. I might as well gather more. Throughout the rest of the morning and late into the afternoon I took out all of my pent-up aggression on this poor red tree. In the end I had found myself high up into the branches covered in thick green leaves. Clearing them away to gather more wood was time consuming but thankfully rewarding. Harvesting the leaves yielded a fair bit of berries that I could munch on during my work. The tree also provided a fair amount of rich sticky sap. How I managed to gather and contain this in such a large quantity was beyond me, but I was thankful for more useless stuff to carry around that might lead to surviving until the Oortfather saw fit to forgive me and let me return home.

As I sat high in that tree looking out at the vast forest covered hill I was upon, determination washed through me, “I will survive!” I shouted. To which of course Brad had a few replies that soundly oddly like fits of laughter. At one point I thought he might choke on a berry and that would take care of one problem at least, but to my dismay he managed to swallow it and go about his feasting.

Feeling at least a little accomplished after a hard days work, I began to take stock of the items I had collected that day. Laying everything out before me I thought of a few ideas. First was a way to carry all of this stuff easier. I fashioned a small pouch out of sap, leaves, and a bit of wood that I had splintered into sticks with a sharp looking rock I had found. After filling it with a majority of the berries, I made a few more to hold the sap, excess leaves, and the lose stones. Next, after using the sharp rock so nicely I fashioned it to a length of wood and secured it with more leaves I had wove into a short length of rope and sealed the deal with a bit more of the sap. That should help with collecting wood easier I thought. Next, I began to fashion a block of wood with my new tool to look as closely as I could to my cube that was now being held hostage. Mostly just as something to help pass the time as I rested, but I also thought it might be useful to use it to bludgeon that stupid creature for a better meal and my real cube back. As I began to apply the finishing touches I discovered I had etched the lines and runes of my original cube almost exactly. Neat. The rest of the project would have to wait until later though, as I had now run out of day light and very quickly became aware that I was still high up in a tree. How was I going to get down?
Habba-craw…

Later that night…

When it rains, it pours. Quite literally. Sometime just after dusk the sky opened up as to cry out with me at my misfortune (or the Oortfather had laughed so hard at watching my struggle that it brought tears to his face place) soaking me and all of my new shinys. In horror I watched as the rain slowly caused the sap on my pouches and rock tool to loosen their grip and give way, spilling their contents haphazardly. Gravity, being the cruel mistress she is, took over from there and all of my hard earned work plinked through the leaves of the tree to land solidly with erratic “thuds” upon the ground below. Or I would have watched if I could see past my nose holes. None the less, the thudding of my supplies hitting the ground was loud enough to hear, bringing much of my frustration and anger back. “What else could go wrong this day!?” I mumbled to myself. As if on que, waiting patiently nearby, Brad sprang from behind a large rock to land happily near a pile of my freshly fallen berries. The landing of his short jump gave the cube just the right amount of jiggle it needed to light his way, showing both him (and me) exactly where every last berry was. “At least you will be quite fat when I finally roast you” I thought aloud in frustration.

As I sat there brooding and cursing Brad and thinking of how tasty he would be, something glimmered from the light put off by the cube. In the brush not far off slinked two beady eyes of pure evil. Somehow it had slowly crept up to us without alarming either of its presence. Almost without pause, as soon as it had closed into a short distance of the now happily grazing…strike that…gorging creature I had found comfort in insulting all day, it dashed out of the brush and began assaulting Brad with a disgusting dark spittle launched from its long, cone shaped mouth hole. “What wretched place is this, AND WHO CREATED THAT THING!?”.

Immediately in a fit of pure terror Brad, mid chew, began bounding around the tree I was perched, as the creature scurried hastily after him. With an over abundance of built up rage and frustration I launched myself out of the tree. Not because this…creature…was even remotely close to looking edible. Not because I had some sudden fondness for Brad. Not because I am a notable hero by any means. NO. THIS. WAS. MY. DINNER. “HAAAAA-BOOOOOO” I shouted as I fell, drawing the attention of the skittering rodent. Its gaze no long on Brad, but firmly upon me, turned to pure shock and terror at watching me fling myself out of the tree and right toward it. As I neared the creature rapidly from above, it began to suck in a mighty breath, readying itself to launch more of that icky black stuff. I too readied myself for the fight that was to come. With a bit of gravity’s help, I reached a good striking point before the creature could fend off my assault. Summoning all of my remaining strength, a lot of rage, and all the hate I could muster…THWACK! My trusty rod thingy connected with the creature’s face place.

It was in this moment I realized, Mistakes had been made. Remember those supplies I had gathered earlier and that tree I climbed? Yeah, so at some point in the day I had gathered enough leaves from the tree that I had begun fashioning lengths of rope to use later. How, I wasn’t entirely sure, but for then, it would serve as an anchor to hold me in the tree instead of my luck coming to collect from me again another misfortune. Well, in my haste, I never thought to un-tether myself from this makeshift rope, nor did I actually give any thought to its length. As it turns out, it was just long enough to save me from joining the rest of my supplies on the ground, though with a much more resounding “THUD” then they. However, it was also just long enough to keep me suspended after striking my massive blow. That just so happened to cause the creature to exhale all of its built up air and empty its inky fluid right into my chest place, with so much force that it launched me back. Again, the rope not long enough to let me land, just kept me firmly attached high above, thus causing me to swing around the tree like an Oortground ball toy. Round and round I went until eventually the rope had brought me close enough to impact the tree, blissfully knocking me unconscious, allowing me to avoid experiencing any further blight the ink spitting creature might have in store for me.

I dreamed…

As the blackness of sleep took me, images of the past day flew through my head piece. The Oortfather, in all of His Greatness scooping me up and unceremoniously throwing me into the portal. The trinkets of not so much power landing on my head. Brad, the strange berry eating walking dinner platter I never got the chance to savor. The ruining of my newly crafted supplies by a sudden torrential downpour. That stupid ink spitting windbag creature. Hindsight. Gravity. Pride. Pain. Disappointment. Random expressions of feeling and thought washed through my unconscious mind until one very firmly stuck out from the rest…I’m being licked. I don’t know how I knew what such a sensation felt like, but for some reason I absolutely knew what being licked felt like in that moment.

Day 2.

Slowly, gathering what ounces of stamina I had left in me, I managed to begin blinking my eyes open, almost as if for the first time. Light pierced my sight orbs like a knife would a hot, fresh steak. My stomach grumbled. I was alive. I was starving, but that meant I was alive. As I began to shake off the remnants of a horrible nights sleep I took in the scene before me.

Damn it. Brad was alive, and licking me. Ok, I’m not entirely crazy after all. I was for the most part intact. In horrible amounts of pain, but alive and nothing was broken that I could tell. Other then my pride. At some point the leaf rope must of snapped as I was very much so on solid ground again. Nope. Brad chewed it. Along with all of the berries that I had lost the night before. And the pouches. There were even bite marks in the wooded sticks. What a stupid…HOLY CRAPO! Finally having most of my wits about me I took time to actually look at Brad. Not only was he alive, but he looked like something from a horrible Oortmare. The berry juices from yesterday had been partially washed away, but not completely. Instead, the rain had managed to cause it to run even further down his head and front. He smelled as terrible as he looked. And he looked terrifying at first glance.

Carefully I began collecting my feet under myself where they belonged and welcomed the weight of the soil pushing back against them. Once fully upright I began to take stock of what was left from my supplies from last night, and more importantly, look for any signs of that nasty creature that attacked us. A few steps around the tree gave view to the remains of what was left of both. My supplies (minus my fruit pickings) were largely still there and salvageable. The spitter, not so much. Where its head should have been was just a mashed mush of goup. The rest of him was covered in what appeared to be Brad’s hoof prints. Apparently I managed to take the creature out on the first swing, but my new dry cleaner saw fit to ensure the job was completed to his satisfaction. Apparently that took some doing as there were quite a few hoof prints. With absolutely no remorse I picked up my rod and gave it one final thwack of my own. It ended up really only being a slight poke with how exhausted and sore I was, but it felt like something between JUSTICE, and Holy OortMother searing pain. “Worth”. pop. The now officially dead spitter vanished in a small puff of air with the slightest of audible curse at the end. “Rest in the dark void.” I mumbled back. To my delight and slight confusion, a raw meat stake and some bleach white bone appeared where it had just been. What is this!? A reward? Not to be the one to look an alien space goat in the mouth and throw berries, I happily, if not hurriedly, collected my earnings before Brad had more selfish ideas for them.

Speaking of Brad, where had he stamppard off to? We have things to discuss. Like boundaries. Personal space. Breakfast. Not in the mood to argue with an over eating space goat, I decided instead to collect what I could salvage from nearby and find something resembling shelter for a few hours to rest and reassemble my tools. After a few short laps around and up the tree, I had collected enough to get me roughly back to where I was the night before, pre-hero tree leaping spitter smasher. As I finished up my short crafting session, I heard what I swear was a Brad burp followed by some gleeful bleating echoing off of rocks in a general that-a-way direction. Taking note of the direction the sun was rising from, and having no knowledge of land-based planetary travel, I stuck with that-a-way and started walking. A few moments later I found myself at the entrance to a tunnel just past the rock outcropping I had found the day prior.

Inside I was greeted by a faint light bouncing of an assorted coloring of rock and sand. Moving carefully forward I arrived in a small dug out section to be hit by the pungent smell of wet Glorpy, a collection of noticeable debris and, you guessed it, Brad. But he wasn’t alone. A little further in, nestled in a nook lined with dried leaves, grass stalks, and crushed berries laid a baby Brad. I couldn’t believe it. Brad shared his food. Now, I’m not saying that I’m enjoying my time spent here thus far, or the companionship Brad has offered, if you could really call it that, but what I am saying is, mini-Brad, was freaking adorable. Stained by no doubt a past meal and partially covered with dried bits of foliage did next to nothing to take away from its bright dark blue coat. Or its infectious hazel blue-green eyes. Or its stupid brown hooves. Or…tree sap must of fallen in my face orbs again. After a moment of taking it all in, Brad completely ignoring me the whole time of course, I began to wonder where its mother was. Slowly I looked around the small area more, or the best I could with the intermittent light reflecting in from outside and light flickering erratically from my cube still firmly lodged with Brad. Faintly I could see more bits of dried leaves and grass in other piles around the cave. Loose bits of gravel and stones littered the floor in other less trampled areas. A few bones were scattered amongst a back far reaching nook, no doubt from the last owner of this fine abode, along with what looked like…a book?

Caught up in my intrigue of such a strange but interesting discovery of a book in a space goat’s den, I had completely forgotten what I was even originally searching for…until I felt something press firmly against my back side. Well, two things. Two very blunt hard things. Then came the heavy breathing and the stamping of a hoof. gulp. Slowly I turned to find myself facing the most majestic set of horns I had ever seen. A very pissed off looking set of eyes raised with the head and horns of what would have been an absolutely stunning, dark green, larger female version of Brad. If it weren’t for the pissed off look and still stamping hoof of course. You go little space goat. Without making any sudden moves I swiveled my head slightly to the side to look at Brad as if for help, and I swear, that same stupid grin was back on his face. Carefully I turned my gaze back to what I assumed was Mrs. Brad and came up with another one of my genius ideas. Feed Mrs. the space goat, pray, and hope the OortFather was in a more generous mood today. Surprisingly, I was answered by the sudden bleat of mini-Brad, which immediately drew the attention of both parents. Swearing to never give thought to naming the baby goat anything food related I slowly backed away. My way out was sorta blocked as I would have to circle around the goat family, putting me behind Mrs. Brad. If ever I had a brilliant idea, it was this day. Don’t walk behind a pissed off mamma space goat tending to her young. Instead, I did something probably equally stupid-er and shuffled quietly back to the nook with the bones and strange book, deeper inside the cave. Not knowing how long the book had been here, or the condition it was in, I was careful to clear the debris around it before retrieving it for reading. In the dim light I could barely make out the title:

An Oort Guide to Surviving Planetary Assessment and Seeding Selection

“Wait, why didn’t I have one of these!?”

“Congratulations on passing the basic and advanced Planetary Survival tutorials. Contained in your Planetary Survival Kit you have located this book. Within you will find instructions for surviving your first days and nights on a new world, crafting basic and advanced tools and machines, and finally how to establish your very own colony for the Oort Seeding Program!”

“WHAT SURVIVAL KIT!?”

Loud snorting and hoof stomps

More of the gulping

Back to the silent reading, and the pretending to not be here…

“Your PSK and this book are your lifelines to a healthy and successful OSP experience. Don’t leave home without them! Over the next few chapters we will:
-Explore, analyze, and catalog flora and fauna data.
-Set up temporary living quarters.
-Collect, use, and maintain a basic resource stockpile.
-Begin crafting tools, weapons, and clothing suitable to your environment.
-Found a starting settlement to signal for additional assistance from fellow P.A.S.S.ers.

“Later we will discuss advanced topics such as:
-Buy low, Sell High. Market Success.
-Choosing a Mate.
-Advanced resource collection and crafting.
-Putting your Mate to work.
-Self Colonization with your Mate.
-Asserting Planetary Control

The last entry on this page had been scratched out and replaced with:
-What ever you do, Don’t feed the space goats raw mea…

Written in with a crude ink and smeared with blood. Crapo…

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Haha. Good one.
So you escaped the horns?
You better reclaim your cube later. Maybe just lure the beast to water and get the cube of carcass. Meat would be welcomed too.

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Wicked story, we need more people like you too write stories, they are amazing ways to spur are imaginations into what the lore of the game is.

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Corrected a few mistakes and added a bit more. Enjoy.
-Eld

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Spent most of the day writing more. Got a little carried away. Enjoy.

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