The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy states: “There
is an art to flying, or rather a knack. Its knack lies in learning to
throw yourself at the ground and miss. … Clearly, it is this second
part, the missing, that presents the difficulties.”
also
How to Fly
Getting Started
From The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
You must learn how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is the ability to throw yourself forward with all your
weight and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt. That is,
it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
If you are really trying properly, the likelihood is that you will fail
to miss the ground fairly hard.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally.
It’s no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you
won’t. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something
else then you’re halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about
falling, or about the ground, or about how much it’s going to hurt if
you fail to miss it.
It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from
these three things during the split second you have at your disposal.
Hence most people’s failure, and their eventual disillusionment with
this exhilarating and spectacular sport. It is just pure banta.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention
momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of
legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal
inclination), or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly
spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby
twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and
remain bobbing just a few inches above the ground in what might seem to
be a slightly foolish manner.
This is the moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float. Float and bob.
Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of “Good
God, man, you can’t possibly be flying!” It is vitally important not to
believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops, breathing regularily.
DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
Landing
With more experience, you will learn how to land properly, which is
something you will almost certainly screw up, and screw up badly, on
your first attempt.
Flight School
There are private flying clubs you can join which help you with the
all important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising
bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or
explain them at the critical moments. Few genuine hitchhikers will be
able to afford to join these clubs, but some may be able to get
temporary employment at them.